Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas!
I offer you all the warmest wishes, however you celebrate this time of year. If it happens that you celebrate something other than Christmas, I mean you no disrespect, and I hope you accept my Christmas wish in the spirit it is offered, just as I will accpet yours.
To those who instead choose to respond with indignation, or suggest that I should water it down to some mealy-mouthed uncommitted “happy holidays”, I offer this instead:
Humbug!
To every fucking spineless weasel appeasing retailer who has made it policy that employees are to issue a “Happy Holidays” in stead of a Merry Christmas, humbug, and fuck you. You’re all too happy to profit from the season – oh, I see the displays of candies and trees and lights. I see the shelves, stuffed to busting with trinkets and baubles to buy and give. I see the fucking Santa, on whose lap you want the children to sit, whose picture you want I should buy, cheerfully beneath a sign that says… what, HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS??!? Mealy-mouthed equivocating tools, all of you.
So, too, to all of you who indignantly turn up your nose and insist “Oh, I celebrate Kwanzaa or Chanukah or boxing day or Chinese New Year or Festivus, not Christmas”. Humbug. Humbug, humbug, humbug! It is possible, polite even, to recognize an event even if you are not personally celebrating. A “Happy Birthday” even if you’re not going to the party. A “Happy Anniversary” even if you weren’t in the wedding. It’s common fucking courtesy, and that is part of being in the community.
Say whatever you want, I promise I don’t care. Wish me a Happy Whatever-Day, and I promise I’ll accept it cheerfully, all I ask is the same in return. But when you start getting indignant and telling me what I should be saying instead, I get damned indignant and pretty pissed off.