The Dosquatch Says…

Visualize whirled peas. Or, better still, really freaking amazing 3D Mandelbrot fractals.

Mandelbulb. Math makes art. Get thee gone to view wonderous beauty.

Technology, The art of not knowing art, math

On 03-Dec, I placed an order with a vendor. Usually, this vendor is pretty quick fill orders, scarily so in some cases (I have received items from the other side of the country the day after order more than once, and I NEVER pop for more than “Ima Brokbastard-Ground”)

So here, 9 days later from a company that averages 3-4, starts feeling like a long wait. Not that I’m not patient, I’ll wait however long for the box. It’s the people waiting for the stuff in the box that are agitated.

“Where’s my stuff?” They ask. And ask. And ask. And my answer stays the same, “I don’t know. I just fill out the request. The tracking numbers don’t come back to me.”

But 9 days of this – ‘K, I’m calling. Not that I’m any less patient, but if I have a better grade of answer than “I don’t know,” so much the better.

The vendor, while cheerful and courteous, proves less than helpful. Not their fault, mind. “Well, based on what I see here,” says Chirpy Customer Service Chick Christine, “delivery is possible anytime between Monday and… December 31st.”

“Ah. Stuck in Christmas traffic, is it?” I query.

“I don’t have that information, all I can see is the delivery window from UPS’s system. I can give you the tracking number if you’d like.” Chirp, chirp.

Oh, I like. I like muchy muchy.

Browsey browsey, clicky clicky, typey typey… WTF? UPS shows that the package was picked up, then nothing for a couple of days, and then a status change to “Exception”. And nothing, at all, since the 7th.

Exception? Like, my box landed on the wrong truck? It’s being held hostage by an unstable rent-a-Santa? Abducted by aliens? Sequestered for a stern talking-to by Greenpeace? I fear I shall never know, all the elaboration the site will provide is “an unforeseen event has occurred which could result in a change to the Scheduled Delivery Date.”

Great. My answer has now formally changed from, “I don’t know,” to “New & Improved Industrial Grade I Don’t Know, Now with REFERENCES!!“

Joy!

Update: I fully assume that nobody cares, but on the off chance, said package did arrive on Monday, 15Dec2008.

The art of not knowing