Frustration-Free Packaging
Amazon.com is launching an initiative to change the packaging of the items they sell to be more eco-friendly (that’s smaller and easier to recycle, folks) and more consumer-friendly (that’s easier to open).
How dare they? I mean, really, where do they get off? Those hours spent huddled with your family around plastic clamshells, naught but a chainsaw and a blowtorch to free your treasures from their hermatically sealed tomb – that’s quality bonding time, and Amazon wants to rip that away from you and yours! Give me my 1 inch square SD card encased in a laptop-sized clamshell. That’s my God-given right, and I will not give it up.
Oh, I remember the Christmases gone by, and the multi-jurisdictional efforts to extract Barbie from her cardboard backing, trying to identify where those yards of plasti-wire begin and end, all set to the babbles and coos of young girls eager for their gift! That’s the sound of love. To think I’d trade those hours and hours and hours for an easy-to-open cardboard box is madness, I tell you. Madness…